"Bad things happen, all the time, sure. But they won't happen to me."
You know that feeling, right? I used to think like that, of course I did. Then my best friend found out that she had cancer, for the second time. And then she died. And I stopped thinking that bad things can't happen to me. When I lost her, I also lost that naive yet comforting feeling of being safe, sheltered, protected. It happened to Fanny, and it could happen to me.
Now it has.
On Monday morning, at 9:55, my phone rang. The call lasted for less than a minute. A nurse told me that they had gotten the test results back from the surgery I had two weeks ago, and asked me to come in right away. And not to come alone.
I knew. Obviously I knew. There was no other explanation.
Ronnie and I met up with my mom and step-dad at the hospital at two in the afternoon. Went up to the sixth floor. Were called into a tiny examination room.
"Well", said the doctor, "unfortunately we found cancer".
This was less than 50 hours ago. We still know very little about what's going to happen. All I do know is that I have cervical cancer and that I have a severely difficult time ahead of me. And that I'm scared out of my mind.
I'm not yet sure what I'm going to do with the blog. I have no idea how much I'll want to share about what's to come. But I knew straight away that I want you guys to be aware of what's going on. Partly because you have been a wonderful support to me so far, and I wouldn't want to deprive myself of that support in the future. I really think that would be stupid, since I now need it more than ever.
I'll be doing my best to stay strong, even though right now I have no idea how. I have to do everything I can to get through this. Because no matter how much I love and miss my best friend who's my angel in heaven, I'm hoping not to be reunited with her just yet. Maybe in sixty years or so.
Hopefully everything will work out great and I will be healthy and happy in no time. That's what I'll be praying for. I'd truly love it if you'd do the same.
PS. I'm sorry, but I probably won't be able to return comments or e-mail any time soon. There's simply too much going on. But of course I read every word and appreciate any kind of support endlessly. DS.
Det är alltid så svårt att veta vad man ska säga, men jag tror på dig. Och jag håller alla tummar och tår för att allt ska gå bra. Och det kommer nog bli tufft, men det vet du ju redan. Men vi finns här på andra sidan bredbandet om du behöver oss. Tacksamma för alla historier du vill dela med dig av & för att du är den du är.
ReplyDeleteoh god, annika! i really can't believe it! i really hope that you can through all of this, just never stop to fight! i wish you all the best in this world from the bottom of my heart!
ReplyDeleteÅh Annika, jag tänker på dig och skickar extra varm energi åt ditt håll. Det kommer att gå bra. Tusen kramar!
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry to read this. I know you must be feeling so awful and upset right now, but try to keep as positive as you can because apparently it can help you to recover. Surround yourself with friends and family. I really hope you'll be okay. I'll be praying for you =)
ReplyDeletexx
jag har aldrig kommenterat här innan, och överhuvudtaget kommenterar jag bloggar väldigt sällan, även om jag ofta läser. Kanske är det så att det sällan känns relevant för mig att ta del av den diskussionen. Men ibland, som nu, så blir jag djupt engagerad och måste lämna en hälsning. Jag är så fruktansvärt ledsen för din skull Annika. Jag kan överhuvudtaget inte föreställa mig den känslan - skräcken, sorgen, ilskan och paniken du måste genomgå, men jag önskar av hela mitt hjärta att allt kommer att gå bra och att du kommer komma igenom det här som en starkare, lyckligare människa. Ta hand om dig!
ReplyDeleteÅh, jag gråter. Livet är så himla orättvist. Men jag antar att det är en rättvisa i det, att (som du säger) det kan hända vem som helst och ingen går säker. Men om ingen går säker går vi alla tillsammans på ett sätt och det finns en trygghet i det tycker jag.
ReplyDeleteDu är så himla stark (vad du nu än tror själv..)
<3
Ånej ånej ånej! Jag grät när jag läste ditt inlägg, hur orättvist får livet vara?
ReplyDeleteJag vet inte vad jag skall säga, mer än att jag tänker på dig och hoppas av hela mitt hjärta att du tillfrisknar helt och snart.
Du är så himla stark som berättar om det här, efter allt du varit igenom.
MEN FÖR I HELVETE! LIVET!
ReplyDeletesom ett slag i magen. Fina du, ta hand om dej och ta all den tid du behöver.
ReplyDeleteEstaré pensando en tí desde Puerto Rico. Te mantendré en mis oraciones. Y esperaré hasta ver el milagro hecho. Un beso* Yésica
ReplyDeletejag vet inte vad jag ska säga. jag vill bara gråta. jag förstår om du känner att du inte orkar, att du inte vet hur det ska gå till. jag tänker på dig så ofta redan och nu kommer jag tänka ännu mer. skicka styrka och böner och allt som möjligen kan finnas att skicka. käre gode gud. jag hoppas att allt blir bra.
ReplyDeleteJag fick så himla ont i magen när jag läste det här. Cancer skrämmer mig något fruktansvärt. Jag vet inte direkt om det här är något stöd för dig att läsa, men jag kände att jag var tvungen att säga någonting. Jag hoppas verkligen, verkligen, att du blir frisk. Du verkar vara en sån underbar människa, och du besitter en sån stor talang. Världen skulle sakna dig om du försvann Annika.
ReplyDeleteUsch vad jobbigt för dig vännen. Jag känner med dig och med din familj. Jag förstår din känsla i att du inte vet hur mycket du vill dela med dig, och jag respekterar detta. Du ska tänka på dig själv. Gör det du mår bra av. Allt kommer ordna sig! Kram Malin
ReplyDeleteMy dear Annika, when I read this post, it broke my heart. Tears welled up in my eyes, I have to admit. It’s painful to hear from people who I care that they are going through difficult times or receiving heart sinking news. I know you will stay strong and steadfast throughout this. I am so thankful that you have family and loved ones near to be with you every step of the way. I will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers continuously. Even though we’ve never met (I hope we will), nor be with you in person to encourage you during this difficult and vulnerable time, you’ve made a special mark on my heart that has always touched me. Just knowing your kindness and beauty, that inner strength you have, you will make it through this! You will be healthy and back to normal in no time. Nothing is stronger than you and the happiness you share. I believe in you, and so do all the rest of us who admire you and are truly inspired by you.
ReplyDeletemuch love, Jamie
Vet inte vad jag ska skriva. Tänker på dig!
ReplyDeleteSo sorry to hear this, Ill be praying that everything is okay for you.
ReplyDeletex
Åh Annika jag tappade just andan. Är så ledsen att det ska hända dig. Vill skicka all styrka och mod till dig så du kan bli frisk. Ge aldrig upp, låt aldrig rädslan ta över för DU KLARAR DET!
ReplyDelete<3
ReplyDeleteannika!
ReplyDeletei cant tell u how much this post has devastated me!
i hope everything gets ok
get well soon!
im praying for u!
I'm so sorry to hear this, but good luck with everything. I know that you have many people who wish you all the best, me included :) You should only share with us what you feel comfortable doing, I'm sure your readers will understand!
ReplyDeleteIt's always really hard to react when someone gets such bad news. But I wish you all the best. Be strong, and we will be here to support you!
ReplyDeletedear annika,
ReplyDeleteI'm reading this while the tears are rolling from my eyes I wish uou al the best of luck and health. I truly hope we can be a support in any way
so much love and support from holland
Actually, I really don't know what to write, because every word seems inappropiate and I'm totally out of words. I can't even imagine how you're feeling right now and probably I don't want to. I wish you the strength to get trough all of this. I wish you all the best and more.
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness...I'm so so sorry. You will get through this! I will be sending good thoughts in your direction from NYC!
ReplyDelete-Hope
oh, Annika! I wish you all the best, you can get through this! you're a strong woman!
ReplyDeleteI wish you the best of luck in this feat. Just stay strong. I know you can make it through it. My thoughts and prayers will be with you.
ReplyDeleteI'm not one of your regular commentators, I found you through lookbook a week ago and it's the first time I'm posting something. Yet reading this broke my heart. I really, really, really hope you'll get through this okay.
ReplyDeleteTake care of yourself.
Men herregud Annika, hur mycket otur får en människa ha? Jag lider med dig och hoppas med allt jag har att det här kommer ordna sig till det bästa. Du verkar vara en otroligt stark människa (har följt dig i säkert sex år) och jag är övertygad om att du kommer övervinna det där jäkla C-et. STORA KRAMAR och KÄRLEK bortom datorskärmar
ReplyDeleteI have no words to explain how I'm feeling right now...
ReplyDeleteI have read this text four times because I though that it's not true, that I didn't understand right in English...
Now I'm crying... You are right: bad things can happen to ALL OF US.
You are wonderful and strong person! Don't forget that you have US and your family! Please, BE STRONG!
I will pray for you!!!!!!!!!
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ with a lots of LOVE
EDYTA
Vet inte vad jag ska säga, förutom att jag ska tänka på dig varje dag.
ReplyDeleteVarma kramar, all kärlek.
Fick ont i magen av att läsa det här. Ingen förtjänar något så hemskt som cancer. Håller alla tummar och tår för att det blir bra igen!
ReplyDeleteOh my god, Annika. I am so, so sorry to hear about this. You seem like such a strong woman and I'm sure you have a great support group around you. Reading up on it, it sounds like you have a good chance at battling this.
ReplyDeleteStay strong, Annika. I just know you can fight this. I can live without tons of fashion updates and whatnot, but I'd like to see that you're okay or how you're doing! Don't make the blog a priority though; you are the priority.
You'll be in my thoughts. ♥
I'm praying for you, I know you can do this. You are strong!
ReplyDeleteMy dear Annika. I don't know what to say all I know is I can't stop crying. Please don't die. I'm going to pray for you even though I don't really believe in God. I'll ask God to please not let you die yet. I know this is just another test for you. I know you can make it with His help and the support of everyone who loves you. You're going to make it through this and come back stronger than ever! I love you forever Annika. :'(
ReplyDeleteoh my. this is dreadful. of course I will think about you every day and include you in my, well, not exactly prayers, but my thought. you will get through this, there is no other option. I wish you the most of luck and strength this world has to offer, you are way too wonderful to be stopped from blogging, from loving, from living. there must be a point with all of this, maybe the future will show which. all lycka i världen, det klarer du. kramar.
ReplyDeleteI don't know what to say... I hope that everything will be as good as it can be - fortunately, we live in developed countries where large part of affected people come out of this disease. I don't usually pray, but I'll pray for you. Eva
ReplyDeleteÅh, fina fina Annika. Sådant ska ju inte hända. Inte för någon. Jag tänker på dig jättemycket och jag hoppas, hoppas att allt blir bra. Att du kommer få ett fantastiskt liv och att jag ska kunna berätta om min framtid för dig precis som vi sa. Jag hoppas, hoppas, hoppas att set blir så. Att det blir bra.
ReplyDeleteMassa kramar och varma tankar.
I don't know what to say - I'm so sorry, I trully hope and pray you'll be ok. I know it's hard to take in and believe right now but people get through this all the time, you need to stay strong and hold on to that.
ReplyDeleteAs a person who's worked a bit with cancer patients I would suggest you tell your doctor about Fanny and the experience you have with cancer if you haven't already, that is going to affect the way you see things and they can better help you with your fear if they know what you've been through.
Weather you keep writing or not I know there will be a lot of people praying for your
Kjære Annika. Jeg har aldri før kommentert på bloggen din, men har lest den i ganske mange måneder nå og føler at jeg kjenner deg. Jeg ble utrolig trist av å lese at du har fått kreft - det høres jo helt uvirkelig ut. Det er utrolig sterkt av deg å fortelle det her på bloggen når du nesten nettopp har fått vite det selv.
ReplyDeleteJeg sender deg mange varme tanker! Det kommer til å gå bra.
Klemmer fra Karina.
no, no, no! ...
ReplyDeleteokay. I can't really put my thoughts into words right now, because just a second ago I was still living in a world, in that it can never happen any wrong to my loved ones. I just want you to know, that from now on I'll think of you every day (I'm doing this for some time now, because of the "D-word"...)and will continue to pray for your recovery.
it's just.... shocking. you know, this whole "why do bad things happen to good people" thing.
I hope that you've found tha f***in' bastard in time!!! Oh my god I can't even imagine this.
We love you and after you decided how much you wanna share - or even... if you can just write about other things, just to get your mind off of this mess - I think you should definitely keep this blog going, because we ARE going to be a big support.
Love, hugs and kisses,
Eszter
Vill bara skicka oändligt stöd och många varma tankar. Jag är en sådan där supertrist bloggläsare som aldrig (och då menar jag verkligen aldrig) kommenterar, men när jag sitter här och blinkar bort mina tårar så fick jag visst samtidigt en spark i baken.
ReplyDeleteHoppas, hoppas, hoppas allt blir bra snart igen.
Oh, Annika. I hope everything turns out okay. You're too wonderful a person to leave us now. I sincerely hope you the best.
ReplyDeleteNej nej nej. Jag vet inte vad jag ska säga, världen är så ofattbart grym. Annika jag tänker på dig och jag ska be för dig.
ReplyDeleteStora stora stora kramar!
As soon as I saw the title of your post I knew this was the case. And it scared the hell out of me. I've just lost a friend because of cancer and I just can't stand watching one of my beloved ones fighting with this disease again. But you know what? You're an amazing girl and one of the strongest persons I've ever known. You will get trough this, I know. Just don't loose you're faith and everything's going to be alright. Until then I'll pray for you so hard I've never done before. Thousand kisses from Hungary. I'm sending you all of my healing powers. Can you feel it?
ReplyDeleteI'll wish you the best, until everything is going to be all right
ReplyDeletexxo
oroa dig inte, du kommer fixa detta!
ReplyDeletekämpa på fina fina du! ska be för dig.
kram.
I'm so sorry Annika. Why is it that whenever you think the worst has happend, you just have to get through it, something even worse appear? I wish I could help, glad to hear you had your family with you. Sending all my strength to you.
ReplyDelete<3
ReplyDeleteI'm lost for words, how do you make a person you don't know and will probably never even meet undertand how much you care? From the bottom of my heart I whish you all the best and hope you will overcome this horrible disease!
ReplyDeleteis a hard time, you can do it!!!! , do not leave us, let us know how it goes...ciao ,annika a kiss:)
ReplyDeletenej, gud så tråkigt. Alla ord blir så små och dumma när jag försöker skriva något men jag hoppas allt går bra och löser sig till det bästa. Kämpa på. Kram.
ReplyDeleteI just wanted to let you know I'm thinking and praying for you and that although I don't personally understand the feelings and situation your facing, my heart goes out to you. God Bless
ReplyDeleteBethx
After reading this message I fekt like my best friend was diagnosed with cancer. I am so sorry to read that this has and is happening to you dear Annika. I wish you all the strength and support you need for the period to come. I hope you will come out of this healthier and stronger than you got in.
ReplyDeleteAll the best to your family and loved ones also.
Jolanda
Men så fruktansvärt, finner inte ord. Det får vara nog nu med hemskheter som drabbar dig, fina Annika. Vet inte vad jag ska säga mer än att önska dig styrka, ljus och kärlek.
ReplyDeleteÅåh, det är så orättvist!! Jag kan inte ens tänka mig vad du går igenom nu! Försök bara att vara stark, du kommer att klara det här!! Hoppas du känner att vi alla är med dig i det här!! Jag ska be för dig!! Många kramar
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I'm truly sorry for what's happening to you. I'm far from understanding what you're feeling about right now, but I want to give you all my support. I've been reading your blog every day since some months ago, and I've found a genuine and wonderful person that shared all her passions and thoughts without being scared of showing herself as it is. Sometimes the worst things happen to the best people. But this doesn't mean you have to stop believing that one day everything will come back to normality. You have to believe, you have to be strong. And I know you are. All of us, that follow you, will be here for you and will give you the support you deserve for being that magical person we've had the chance to know through your blog. Live your life knowing that everyday is a gift, as it is for all of us. You're an inspirational person to me, and I thank you for everything.
ReplyDeleteMy best wishes for you.
xxxx
Valeria Meli (valeriameli@hotmail.it)
I'm so so sorry to hear this, Annika. I remember your comment on Bloggkommentatorerna about your ucoming surgery, and I really truly honestly thought you'd get a different result than this. There is just no sense in so many bad things happening to one person. I wish I could "of course you'll be fine!" but you and I both know that nobody can guarantee that. All I can say is that I hope and pray this will all end well for you. You so deserve a happy, healthy life.
ReplyDeletenej nej nej det här är inte klokt. håller tummarna för dig och att allt ska gå bra. tänker på dig!
ReplyDeletei'm so sorry and so sad about what happened to you...and i think we all'll be just happy to see you healthy again soon.that's the only thing that matters.u dont have to be in touch with everyone every second.your supporters will always be with you and wish only the best for you :)
ReplyDeleteyou writingt about everything in this blog always inspired me and made me stronger and also showed me such a beautiful,sweet,caring and strong person.i always wondered how u do this and i'm pretty sure there is some magic behind you.so dont give up superherolady <3 u can do it!
Oh, Annika. I don't really know what to say, and I think this is such an impossible thing to express, the sorrow and the pain and the confusion of it. But you are in my thoughts.
ReplyDeleteI understand if you don't choose to blog, but I feel that there is an amazing support system you could find, and a light you could shed on cancer. So whether you choose to write publicly or not, it is my gut instinct that you should write, whilst this happens.
xoxo
<3
ReplyDeleteVartenda litet ord jag försöker formulera känns så litet och obetydligt. Ibland är kanske det minsta det mest betydande.
ReplyDeleteJag ger all min kärlek och styrka till dig. Stor kram i allt elände!
I know I'm just a stranger on the other side of the world, but I've been reading your blog for a while, and it breaks my heart to hear this news. I'll be keeping you my thoughts and sending all of my best wishes to you. Take care of yourself <3
ReplyDeleteUsch, vilken mardröm. Har jag rätt uppfattning om dej kommer du kicka röv på cancern. Det finns bara en väg och det är framåt. En miljard kramar till dej. <3
ReplyDeleteFan va livet är orättvist! Jag vet inte vad jag ska skriva, men jag håller både tår och tummar för att det ska gå bra för dig. För det inte rättvist någonstans att det är du som drabbas.
ReplyDeleteTänker på dig! <3
I can't even begin to grasp the feelings that must be going through your mind right now. I just wanted to say this: Cancer care in Sweden is really, really good. If something can be done about your cancer, they will do that something. Most people do make it through cancer.
ReplyDeleteFingers crossed, alla tummar hållna, and I do hope that you will soon be free of cancer again.
Big hug!
jag vet inte vad jag ska skriva. ord är verkligen inte tillräckliga. vill bara att du ska veta att jag tänker på dig!
ReplyDeleteI can't even begin to imagine what your going though, sending every ounce of goodness, luck, love, and hope your way. You'll be in my prayers, wishing you a speedy recovery my lovely. x
ReplyDeletei'm so sorry to hear that. hope with all the treatments, u will be well & healthy again in no time. stay strong & positive. xoxo
ReplyDeleteHej fina du!
ReplyDeleteJag följde din blogg på Aftonbladet under en lång tid. Tyckte (och tycker!) att du skrev så bra, hade fina bilder och blev en inspirationskälla. Pga en hektisk period hann jag inte med att läsa lika ofta längre och till slut blev det nästan ingenting. Och nu när jag kollade in på dina "nya" blogg möts jag av detta inlägg.
Jag vet egentligen inte vad jag ska säga, vill mest berätta hur ledsen jag är för din skull. Jag önskar dig alla lycka och du kommer vara i mina tankar dagligen! Krya på dig!
Stora kramar.
You are so strong, Annika - you will get through this! Thinking of you and your loved ones <3
ReplyDeletethinking of you...
ReplyDeletetänker på dig. fan..
ReplyDeleteJag kan inte fatta det. Jag kan verkligen inte fatta det.
ReplyDeleteJag är så himla ledsen. Hur i....
Men du kommer klara dig så himla fint, och du kommer bli så himla bra Annika. Tro mig.
Vad ledsen jag blir för din skull, cancer är min stora skräck. Hoppas verkligen att allt går bra efter omständigheterna. Du förtjänar inte detta.
ReplyDeleteKram!
Men fina du! Har följt dig i flera
ReplyDeleteÅr men sällan kommenterat. Känns som hjärtat nästan skulle stanna när jag läste det här. Jag tänker på dig o din familj.
Jag känner dig inte, ändå känns det som jag gör det, o min maggrop säger att det kommer gå bra! All min kärlek!
Marie Larsson
Dear Annika...we might not know each other, but i´ve been reading your blog for a while and it´s strange, but i feel like we are friends already...so i am very, very, very sorry to hear these news...i can´t even imagine how you feel now and how hard this must be to you...but i BELIEVE you can make it trough and you WILL. I really do believe this. Take care of yourself and get well soon!
ReplyDeleteJag blir så ledsen, och jag hoppas verkligen att den jävla cancern försvinner, det är en så hemsk sjukdom. Jag hoppas verkligen du blir frisk Annika<3 Du är en så fin person.
ReplyDeleteåh annika. all pepp och kärlek. det måste kännas helt sinnessjukt efter vad du varit med om men du, ta hand om dig, låt dina nära och kära rå om dig och så tar du dig igenom detta. all styrka!
ReplyDeletekarin
All, all lyckoönskning möjlig till dig Annika. Det här var fruktansvärt sorgligt att läsa. Jag har läst dig i många år och tycker du är FANTASTISK! Och nu klarar du dig igenom det här, okej? Vi alla hejar. Hejar hejar hejar hela tiden. Tills du blir bra igen.
ReplyDeleteKramar!!
You are wonderful. You are beautiful. You are funny. You are strong. You are amazing. You are a queen. You are a conqueror. You are a survivor. You love cats. You are awesome! You are brave. You make yummy pancakes. You take beautiful photos. You are lovely. You are the head and not the tail. You are a star. You are loved. You are inspiring. I can't imagine what you're going through, I send you love, I will be praying for that sickness to return to sender by fire as we say here. Everyday.
ReplyDeleteTK
Life's not always fair, but I'm absolutely sure that you can make it through this just as through everything else. I will be thinking of you, though I know that you don't need the support of a complete stranger. You can make it through this all by yourself. But you don't have to, that's the good thing, the only thing that really matters.
ReplyDeleteI'll keep my fingers crossed, wishing you the best I can. x
Vilka fruktansvärda nyheter :(
ReplyDeleteHoppas att all kärlek runt dig kan hjälpa dig att inte ge upp. Livet får inte ta slut nu.
Varma hälsningar från en trogen bloggläsare med kroniska sjukdomar och håravfall. Man orkar inte alltid men på något sätt så gör man det ändå.
Be om hjälp eller pepp när du behöver.
Ojojoj. Ibland undrar jag hur jorden kan fortsätta snurra. När fina människor blir behandlade såhär illa av livet tycker man ju att något allvarligt borde hända. För att liksom illustrera att något knasat till sig rejält, och sedan inte börja snurra förrän allt ordnat upp sig igen. Jag kommer be för dig, och jag hoppas verkligen att du blir frisk riktigt snart. Så att jorden kan börja snurra igen.
ReplyDeleteTänker på dig och hoppas att allt kommer bli bra snart. Många kramar!
ReplyDeleteI can't belive that, I know that bad things can happen to everyone since my dad died but you are so young and so cute, and this makes me really sad. I wish you the best and please take care of yourself >:D< fluffy hugs
ReplyDeleteSå. Jävla. Orättvist.
ReplyDeleteJag har nog aldrig kommenterat på den här bloggen, men nu är jag bara tvungen. Läser vartenda ord du skriver och står i skuggorna som en tyst hejarklack.
I'm so sorry, I'll be praying for you, have faith, and trust in God!
ReplyDeleteWe all love you!♥
xo,
Wendy
Jag vet inte vad jag ska säga. Som många andra har skrivit har jag inte heller kommenterat förr din blogg, men läst den länge. Du är så inspirerande för mig, även om jag aldrig berättat det innan. Önskar dig all lycka och håller alla tummar för dig! Ta hand om dig! Stoor kram! /Marianne
ReplyDeleteJag vet inte ens vad jag ska säga. Det är inte som att jag känner dig egentligen, men det känns som att jag ändå lärt känna dig lite genom den här bloggen... Det är nog därför llt blev helt tyst och tomt när jag läste det här inlägget. Herregud. Av allt som kan hända och vid alla tillfällen som kan hända. Jag vet inte vad jag ska säga men jag sänder tankar och kramar och allt som är gott och bra och vill innerligt, innerligt att din bättringsväg blir snabb och lindrig.
ReplyDeleteDette var trist å lese, Annika. Men jeg er overbevist om at dette klarer du :) Bare ta vare på hverandre. <3 Jeg tenker masse på deg, og tror på deg.
ReplyDeleteAnnika, allting kommer ordna sig. Det gör ju alltid det, på ett eller annat sätt. Tills dess, kämpa!
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry to hear this Annika! It's unbelievable that this had to happen to you. I'm just hoping and praying for you to get better. Just know that your readers will always support you and think of you. Stay strong! xx
ReplyDeleteJag brukar inte heller kommentera men nu måste jag skriva att jag kommer att tänka och heja på dig! Underbara, fina Annika. Kram
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry to heart that. Keep strong and remember that you have always people to support you! I really hope that you'll get well soon. ♥
ReplyDeleteHang in there, Annika! The times ahead of you may be hard, but I believe you're going to be surrounded with the most wonderful people who will stick by your side through the dark days. You're such an admiring person, take your time to take care of yourself, that's what is important now. All the rest comes after
ReplyDeletezyrine
Åh Annika vännen, hoppas hoppas hoppas det ordnar sig. Vet inte vad jag ska säga, tänker på dig!
ReplyDeleteJag tror på dig Annika, ta hand om dig <3
ReplyDeleteDu är en fantastisk person som alltid skriver på ett sätt som träffar och får mig att känna något, oavsett vad texten handlar om. Och du verkar vara en så himla härlig person, en sån som man så gärna vill ha som vän.
ReplyDeleteJag kommenterar väldigt sällan men jag har hängt med din blogg vääääldigt länge och jag kan bara hoppas och önska att du blir frisk fort och att sjukdomsperioden är skonsam mot dig.
You have all my prayers!
ReplyDeleteReading this broke my heart. You are one of the most inspiring girls I found in the big blog world and I am a daily stalker of your amazing blog. I just can't believe it. I don't want to believe it. I am so so sorry...and I wish you only the best, please get well soon and kick that damn cancer out. Because the world would be a much darker place without you and your deep thoughts, your sensational style, your kindness and your great posts about your cats.
ReplyDeleteI know you will make it. I wish you the strength to make it. You're awesome. :)
Life isn't always fair. You just have to be strong and win the situation. Because death can wait!
ReplyDeletePositive thoughts always!
Big hopes and kisses for you from Portugal :)
oh, I'm really sorry to hear that. I hope you will fond a way to fight it and everything will be OK.
ReplyDeleteohmygod that's terrible!!!
ReplyDeleteI love your blog though, hope you don't stop. But I know that it will be difficult.
Sorry for you, but I hope for the best!
I had to read that several times to realize it.
ReplyDeleteI don't want to be utterly dramatic, because I know you'll be fine, you will be fine. I feel very sad, but I want to keep being positive and I can only hope you will be too. We are all here for you, sending love and support.
All my love sincerely goes to you.
Kram!
ReplyDeleteJeg vet ikke hva jeg kan si... Du er et stort forbilde for meg, og mange andre, det er jeg helt sikker på! Og denne nyheten var utrolig dum, og jeg håper virkelig du kommer deg gjennom dette, noe jeg er sikker på at du klarer! Jeg er helt sikker på at det er mange som vil støtte deg gjennom dette, inkludert meg.
ReplyDeleteAlle her tenker på deg og tror på deg!!
<3
Jag har läst din blogg länge men aldrig kommenterat. Men jag hejar på dig och ditt lag! Ta hand om dig!
ReplyDelete/Ylva
oh dear sweet beautiful writer of sharing herself annika, we love you. that's the truth.
ReplyDeleteAnnika, jag finner inga ord. Jag tänker på dig och hoppas så innerligt att du får allt det stöd och den hjälp du behöver nu. Vi är många som bryr oss och hejar på dig!
ReplyDeleteÅh Annika, jag tänker på dig mycket.
ReplyDeleteHoppas innerligen att allt blir bra och ordnar sig för dig!
ReplyDeletePlease stay healthy, please. I've been reading you for years. This is so surreal.
ReplyDeleteHerregud. All kärlek.
ReplyDeleteWe love you Annika. You have touched so many souls, now it's our turn to give back and send you lots and lots of strength and love! You are not alone :)
ReplyDeleteCan't tell you how sorry I am. I am shocked and I can't imagen how you feel.
ReplyDeleteI really hope that you'll get healthy as soon as possible! You will! I'm sure about that.
I wish you the very best and lots of power. Life needs you.
xxxx
Dear Annika,
ReplyDeleteI really feel for you, it's terribly unfair. Hope you'll get well soon.
Lots of hugs,
Sophie
You are in my prayers...sending you love and strength.
ReplyDeleteI'm praying for you. And I hope you get healthy soon! Wishing you the very best. Stay strong! I LOVE YOU xx
ReplyDeletenatalie
Can't tell you how sorry I am. I am shocked and I can't imagen how you feel.
ReplyDeleteI really hope that you'll get healthy as soon as possible! You will! I'm sure about that.
I wish you the very best and lots of power. Life needs you.
xxxx
Annika,
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry to hear this dreadful news. You are just such a darling, compassionate person, with so much love, as your blog shows us. Towards not only other people, but animals too. All life. Use that love to ignite the fight in you. For love is infinite, as can be your strength to beat this. I believe in you! Best of luck!
Fight the good fight!
Fine, fine Annika, jeg har troen på at dette kommer til å gå bra! Vi er mange som tenker på deg! Lykke til og god bedring!
ReplyDeleteTänker på dig och håller tummar och tår allt vad jag kan för att du ska bli frisk, du helt enkelt måste bli frisk.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry and I wish you all the best, so many people will have their fingers crossed for you. You seem like such a wonderful, loving person and you will be able to stay strong through this with the support of all your loved ones. We're all rooting for you beautiful! xxx
ReplyDeleteStay with us, please. I know you will. No matter happens, be strong and remember that we are all praying for you.
ReplyDeleteBeloved Annika, I cannot express how sorry I am to hear your sad news. I am praying for you, dearest and wonderful creature. I am to be here for you, always. And I so sincerely believe that you, together will all of us, will and can get through this. For now I send you all my love and strength. /Emma <3
ReplyDeleteVet inte riktigt vad jag ska säga... Helt ofattbart hemskt:( Hoppas bara att allt går bra nu och framöver samt att du lyckas kämpa emot! <3
ReplyDeleteOh, Annika... :'( I truly wish everything will turn out alright! I've been reading your blog for quite a long time now, I've started to see you as a sort of blogger friend, you're so true and such a lovely person... I have no words to express how much I truly want you to be safe! I can only wish you the greatest strength! I'll be waiting to know something from you, but we all understand if you don't. Remember, life is beautiful. Stay happy, no matter what. Even though days are painful sometimes! Be brave, Annika! I'll be hoping for your well-being!
ReplyDeleteKiss
Nádia
jag vet inte vad jag ska säga. mina tankar är hos dig <3
ReplyDeleteVill bara säga att jag hoppas av hela mitt hjärta du snart blir frisk. Jag tänker på dig. Kram
ReplyDeleteLivet är så jävla orättvist. Men det kommer gå vägen! Känner flera kvinnor som gått igenom det du gör nu och alla har kommit ut på andra sidan som ännu visare och starkare!!! Skäm bort dig själv ORDENTLIGT framöver! Många tankar från en läsare.
ReplyDeleteAs soon as I read this post, my world stopped for a moment... Oh Annika...beautiful, kind, thoughtful, caring Annkia. My heart is breaking for your right now and no words can possibly come together to describe how I feel. I know I don't know you and have never met you, but it doesn't matter... I feel like I know you so well... like you're a good friend. I'm praying deeply, so, so deeply for everything to be okay with you. I just want you to be okay... <3
ReplyDeleteNever stop fighting. I will be praying for you.
ReplyDeleteAnnika, all I can say is that for the past few months, since I've discovered your blog, you've been like a sister to me. You were the one who emailed me and helped me through my depression. You were the one who stopped me from starving myself to death. Your blog gets me through the day and motivates me. Annika, I'm sitting in my room crying my heart out right now for you. But, we must both realize that everything happens for a reason. We all love you to death and I promise you'll be okay. You have a beautiful family and I know they love you and support you through everything, just as we do. Just hold strong and have faith in God. I pray constantly, so I'll be sure to keep you in my prayers. You know, as I said before, I have to meet you one day, and since we live very far, that will take some time to happen. But it will happen! And until then, the two of us HAVE to stay alive, okay?
ReplyDeleteI love you soo soo much Annika and I hope for the best!
-Nina
I really don't know what to say cause I have never been good at cheering up people, I can only tell you that even if I don't know you in real life I sincerely wish you the best & I hope that you'll have a long & great recovery. Please don't stop the blog or if you do, please give us some news from you, just so we'll know how you're feeling because most of us do care about you.
ReplyDeleteOh my god. I'm so sorry. So so so sorry. I really don't know what to say, but I'll be rooting for you, cross my fingers and pray, and everything else I can think of. Lots of love.
ReplyDeleteah, I'm so so sorry. I'm thinking about you and hoping that you will feel better.
ReplyDeleteWhat can I say that everyone else has not already said? I'll be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers, but above all, please keep a positive energy in this upcoming period. It really can make all the difference.
ReplyDeleteChin up, sweetie, this world works in mysterious ways. You'll power through this. All my best to you.
XO
Jag hoppas verkligen att det kommer att gå bra för dig. Ta hand om dig!
ReplyDeleteMy heart dropped when I read your post. You know when you hear something shocking, and devastating, that you don't expect? And it's like your heart just.. stops. I'm sorry to hear that, Annika.
ReplyDeleteMy mum had cancer a few years ago. She nearly died from it. One of the things that we never did though, was give up. We never got unhappy about it. We made jokes and we kept positive and we were all terrified and it was a horrible time but we didn't give up and my mum kept fighting and kept smiling and kept laughing and making jokes about herself. She even dressed up for when the nurses came over and made silly little jokes like that.
Please stay positive. All these comments show how much we all adore you lots and lots and are here if you need it. :) Please keep us updated? I read you every day, your blog has become a second homepage to me, and I'm sure a lot of others too.
I hope it all turns out okay. Best of luck. You're beautiful and strong and can beat this!
- Alex
<3
dear annika,
ReplyDeletei am so, so, sorry to read this news. i have been following your blog for a short time and have never commented before, but this has really broken my heart. you seem like a strong woman and i know you will fight this with all you have. wishing you and your family all the best from the bottom of my heart.
xx Jenny
Kära fina viktiga begåvade underbara människa som berör alla du möter.
ReplyDeleteDet finns inga ord. Vi är här. Säg ett ord så är vi där du behöver oss.
Dear Annika,
ReplyDeleteI´m so sorry to know that you have cancer. It´s trully amazing how this can happen to the kindest people in the world , you being one of them. I´m really, really sorry to hear about this and I hope you will continue blogging at least from time to time just so that you can tell us that you are OK. You really are amazing Annika and I really enjoy reading your blog. Reading your blog made me a lot of times reflect about certain things and also I´m really happy to have known you. You made me laugh so many times and help me forget my cloudy days.
Pls take care and I really hope and pray that you´ll get better. I don´t understand how this can happen to the best of people...
Best wishes for you dear Annika,
Geanina.
Ånej, vad jag önskade att jag aldrig skulle behöva läsa det här. Jag hoppas så mycket att du ska klara dig igenom det här. Så mycket. Håller alla fingrar och tår.
ReplyDeleteDear Annika, there`s not much I can say, I`m truly shocked. Know, that we all love you very much and we will be thinking of you and sending you the best wishes - stay strong. You are beautiful, on the outisde and on the inside - spotless mind.
ReplyDeleteWhatever you decide about the blogs is up to you entirely, but just know, we hope you will decide to keep it.
All the best >'.'<
Du kommer att klara det!
ReplyDeleteFina, fina Annika! Det är med stor sorg jag läser ditt inlägg. Det borde inte få bli så här, det borde inte få finnas!
ReplyDeleteJag skriver till dig som min vän, för det känns som vi är vänner efter att ha följt det i flera år. Jag tänker på dig och din familj och hoppas du kommer gå segrande ur kampen om livet och de kommande sextio åren! All styrka och kärlek!
Duktiga och kloka tjej. Så hemskt orättvist! Har mest läst dina krönikor i Sofies mode, egentligen var det på grund av dina texter jag köpte tidningen.
ReplyDeleteKämpa tjejen! Håller tummarna för dig och de andra medsystrarna där ute som har fått samma hemska sjukdom.
Varma hälsningar och styrkekramar!
Har försökt skriva något bra här några gånger nu. Raderat allt bara hela tiden. Vet inte vad jag ska säga... alls. Mer än att att jag tänker på dig så himla mycket och att du förtjänar allt annat än förbannad jävla cancer (man får svära extra mycket när det gäller något som man hatar så fruktansvärt mycket). Livet är så himla orättvist. Så himla himla orättvist... Men att det kommer gå bra, det vet jag, för det måste det och för att du är så himla himla bra att det inte finns några andra alternativ liksom.
ReplyDeleteSom sagt, du finns i mina tankar.
I'm really so, so sorry. But you know you just have to fight, to fight like it seems you has always done and keep on, stay strong sweetie. Hope everything will be okay, regards from Spain ♥
ReplyDeleteStor kram!
ReplyDeleteOj! :( Fina Annika - håller tummarna för dig, det här klarar du! Tack för att du berättade - oavsett hur mycket eller lite du orkar uppdatera framöver så är vi med dig och skickar energi och goda tankar.
ReplyDeleteNu var det länge sedan jag sa något. Jag tittar in med jämna mellanrum, det gör jag. Men jag är oftast tyst.
ReplyDeleteJag säger inte så mycket nu heller. Skickar istället en varm kram.
Wishing you all the best and a speedy recovery :)
ReplyDeleteJag blir så innerligt ledsen när jag läser det här. Canser är en hemsk sjukdom som ingen borde drabbas av, ingen.
ReplyDeleteJag ber för dig och din familj och jag ber för att du ska bli frisk så fort som möjligt.
En stor styrkekram till din Annika!
I am so sorry.. I really hope everything works out for the best.
ReplyDeleteStay strong ♥
Im so sorry to hear that. I wanted to say that you're amazing and a big inspiration to me in my life. Take care now.
ReplyDeleteAnnika - I am so so sorry to hear this. I truly believe that you will come out the other end of this stronger than ever. Don't give up for a second! -Courtney (New Zealand)
ReplyDeleteSå fruktansvärt. Alla människors värsta mardröm är väl att man själv eller någon man älskar drabbas av detta och du drabbas dubbelt. Så oerhört sorgligt att läsa detta. All styrka, allt hopp till dig! Varma tankar och kärlek...
ReplyDeleteI'm really sorry Annika. I'll be praying for you. Please stay strong and positive. God bless you.
ReplyDeleteI send my deepest condolences. You're a special woman, stay strong.
ReplyDeleteOh my Gosh Annika I'm so sorry - You probably don't even know me but I feel like I know you cause I love reading your blog posts you inspire me so much. I will pray for you during your treatment in the coming months or years as you fight - you have a wacky sense of humour that I get because mine is the same, I hope that you don't lose that because laughter is so important. Keep strong <3
ReplyDeleteMina böner går till dig
ReplyDeleteIt will be alright, it has to be and it's going to be! I'm keeping my hope up and if I would've known you for real, I would've hugged you like you wouldn't know it. Do what you have to, and what you cope. Thousands, and then thousands of hugs <3
ReplyDeleteTänker på dig och håller tummar och tår. Cancern är något man inte önskar någon.
ReplyDeleteI have only stumbled upon your blog today but I'm so sorry to hear about your illness, hope you recovery as quickly as possible. no doubt your friend will be watching over you throughout.. I have to say I've been overwhelmed by your followers response to your post. so your have so many followers are deeply effected by your news and will support you in every way they can, you must truly be a remarkable person. I wish you all the best, lots of Love Joanne x
ReplyDeleteÄlskade finaste Annika! Jag sitter här med tårar i ögonen. Du är värd det bästa! Jag ber för dig, finaste finaste du! <3
ReplyDeleteStay strong. We're all here praying for you. Everything will be okay. [Tight Hugs]
ReplyDeleteÅh Annika, tänker på dig! <3
ReplyDeleteåh, jag ska be för dig!
ReplyDeleteGe inte upp, även när det är som mörkast! Sjukvården gör fantastiska framsteg i kampen mot cancer. Min pappa hade 5-10% chans att överleva (fem till tio). Det här var för över ett år sedan. I somras var hela familjen på semester utomlands. Håller tummarna för dig!
ReplyDeleteAnnika. Det här gör mig så ledsen. Sköt om dig! Varmaste kramar!
ReplyDeleteomg i seriously from all my heart wish you the best, i hope you heal quickly. and you will heal annika, just stay strong. good luck :)
ReplyDeleteDu är en fin människa, en förebild och en stark kvinna. Jag hoppas att du blir frisk; snart. All the best, J
ReplyDeleteAnnika, vi hejjar på dig! Det kommer gå bra!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
ReplyDeleteJag kommenterar aldrig, eller nästan aldrig, - men jag vill bara låta dig få veta att jag tänker på dig och att jag hoppas att du kommer att bli okej! Du är stark, det vet jag. Har följt din blogg några månader nu, och du skriver så himla himla bra.
ReplyDeleteI feel like anything I have to say is massively insignificant, but I want to say it anyway. You are such an inspiration to so many people, and I hope you know that you have our support through everything. You're so very strong, and even when you don't feel strong at all, we'll be here for you. I wish you the best and I'll be keeping you in my thoughts, dear.
ReplyDeleteusch, måste kommentera igen för nu har det jobbiga sjunkit in ordentligt. tycker det här är så orättvist. har följt dig sen din musikblogg så det känns som att jag känner dig. jag blir ledsen och arg över att det här var tvunget att hända just dig. det borde inte få hända nån. all styrka och värme till dig och de dina.
ReplyDeleteYou'll be okay. And if you feel like you won't be, give your cats a hug and you'll change your mind.
ReplyDeleteDon't you dare leave us yet, Annika. C:
Andan gick ur mig! Jag blir rädd & ledsen för din skull trots att jag inte känner dig annat än via bloggen finaste Annika <3 Tänker på dig & sänder styrkekramar och ber för dig, det här kommer att gå bra!!
ReplyDeleteC
I just can't even believe what I'm reading right now.
ReplyDeleteÅh nej! Är typ allt jag tänker. Jag har inte läst din blogg så länge men jag har läst dina texter här och där och alltid förundrats över ditt språk. Du, som person, inspirerar mig väldigt mycket. För mig känns det bara så orättvist att det här ska drabba dig, som att du inte har haft mycket nog. Jag hoppas och håller tummarna (även min lilla kissekatts "tummar") för att allt ska gå bra och att du blir frisk snart! Kärlek, omtanke och styrka till dig!
ReplyDeleteOh my God.... Annika.... Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God.... I have no idea what to say. I hardly know you, but I consider you a friend. Every morning the first thing I do is log onto the computer and read your blog. You've caused me to have to hurry and do my hair and makeup in a rush because reading your blog comes first! I just cannot believe this.... I will be praying for you. So hard. I hope to God everything gets better soon.
ReplyDeleteWith love,
Emily
**kisses**
Fina Annika, vi är många som tänker på dig, önskar dig välgång och lycka, vi finns som en god osynlig människa i motgång, medgång och framgång. Varmaste kramarna från Maria, Jennifer & Love
ReplyDeleteDarling stay strong, my prayers are with you.. everything will be fine, just think positive:) lots of hugs:)
ReplyDeleteÅh, jag blir så himla ledsen. Så hjärtskärande. Åh åh åh, sånt här får bara inte hända människor. USCH!
ReplyDeleteDu får ett hjärta av mig, bli frisk snartsnart!
<3
Hi, my name is Maria, I am mexican and I´ve been following your blog for a while now, I this you are an excellent writter and you have a very unique and awsome style. Well I guess the reason that I am posting this comment is becuase I hope that everything will come out fine and I would like you to know that you can count with the support of all of your blog followers in this hard time. Be strong and believe that everything will turn out the way you want it to. Hug
ReplyDeleteOh Annika...that was not a post I was expecting to read, nor ever wanted to hear. I can't even begin to imagine what you're going through. But I know that no matter what happens, there are many many people thinking about you, praying for you, and caring even though we haven't met you. I have no doubt that we will all completely understand wherever you choose to take the blog. I dearly hope that the cancer can be erased and that you can continue on your life of being the inspirational person you are. (It's true! YOU are an inspiration!)
ReplyDeleteI wish you courage and strength. Don't give up. You'll get through it. Best of luck and stay strong!
ReplyDeleteBlev ledsen nu. Livet är så orättvist. Håller tummarna allt ja kan för dig! Kramar
ReplyDeleteAnnika, I've just read your blog for a while but I truly enjoy every entry you have posted. Each of them is insightful in their own way. This blog is unlike any other (fashion) blogs out there because you let us - readers - know snippets of your life as well and you are not afraid to be blatant about it.
ReplyDeleteI'm certain that you are able to overcome even the hardest challenges which you are currently facing. A lot of people, including me, love you and will always be there to support you.
Stay strong and have faith. ♥
I am truly sorry. Please, stay strong! You've made it through so many things so far in life, and I really believe you can make it through this one. <3
ReplyDeleteI have been reading your blog from the start! You are my inspiration, and i know that you will pull through!
ReplyDeleteMuch prayers and love,
Anonymous
Oh my, so so very sorry. Stay strong...you are in my prayers darling.
ReplyDeletexo
Lizzie
placeclevertitlehere.blogspot.com
Dear Annika,
ReplyDeleteI know there are plenty of comments wishing you well, but I just wanted to add my voice to the chorus. You are beautiful, strong and intelligent. While you may not control the outcome of this illness, you do have the ability chose how to live your life now. Stay strong, love a lot, and fight like hell!
Love,
Sarah
I said a prayer for you, Annika. So sorry to hear this news. I know it must be shocking and scary, but do your best to keep hope in your heart and believe you are going to get well. A spirit of determination and positivity can do wonders. Fight with all your might. I hope you'll be able to bring us a good report soon.
ReplyDeleteIt's hard for me to express all that I want to tell you right now... All I know for sure is that the only thing I want to do right now is give you a big hug <3 Annika, you are amazing, strong, beautiful, and I want you to know that we are all rooting for you 100%
ReplyDeleteLots of love from Canada <3
Love, I'll pray for you EACH and EVERY day. I love you darling and just remember that your readers will be with you each step of the way, because though I've never met you before I feel like I've known you for a long time. Stay strong <3
ReplyDeleteFeel loved. Because you are. You really really are.
ReplyDeletesweet kisses Annika!stay strong darling :)
ReplyDelete