Instagram and to wear or not to wear make up.

Last week, I received a comment where a girl named Malin asked if I use the app Instagram. Well, I didn't, but now I do! I downloaded it on Saturday, and these are the photos I posted so far. Kitties, food, friends, my car getting snow suited up in winter tires, birthday, my mom and I in the waiting room at the hospital yesterday, before my surgery. More kitties. If you use Instagram and want to follow me, I'm called accordingtoannika.

Other comments, on this post, brought up the questions of "real" photos on this blog. Someone asked why I don't post photos without make up on, and I must say, I was surprised. My first thought was "but I never wear make up!". Then I realized that, hmm, in the outfit photos I do. And if that makes it seem like I'm in any way self-conscious about the way I look without it, then that's terrible. I like make up, as a part of dressing up, of putting together a "look" - but I don't care about it. When I take the outfit photos, I usually put make up on, do the shoot, then wash my face. I wear make up to parties or fancier restaurant dinners, because to me, that's part of the fun of dressing up and going out. In the photos above, I'm not wearing any make up, because there was no point putting any on.

I really don't believe that any one of us need to cover up our faces in order to be beautiful, but I also don't think there's any harm in applying simple, pain-free products to experiment with our looks. I'm aware that this is considered hypocritical by some people. In high school, I was told by a group of girls in my class that I wasn't allowed to call myself a feminist since I sometimes wore make up to school. And while I personally find that a big load of crap, I can still see their point. Trust me, I am not oblivious to the fact that women are much more severely judged and defined by their looks than men; I do see a huge problem with the way lots of people - men and women, girls and boys - feel like they can't live up to the ideals of beauty that is set by our society. And I completely understand the girls and women who object to these norms by rejecting the fashion and beauty industries entirely. That's just not the way I've chose to live my life.

Writing columns for a fashion magazine for three years, while not being a fan of women's magazines myself, I've had hundreds - thousands? - of people (mostly women) asking me how I can contribute to such a publication and still sleep at night. And well, I don't always sleep at night, but I can assure you that my sleep deprivation has nothing to do with where my columns are being published. To me, it's very simple:
1) I do not think that the problem is that magazines for girls and women exist. What I don't agree with is (some of - sometimes a lot of) their content. And I absolutely cannot see anything wrong with contributing to these magazines with the kind of content I wish they would publish more of, since I am then doing what's in my power to make a change.
2) My target audience, my readers, are without any argument girls and women. The subjects I write about are intended for them - especially for the kind of girls and women who read fashion and women's magazines. I write about being a young woman struggling with many of the same issues my readers do. Then why on Earth wouldn't I write for a publication that these women read?

Back to make up. I don't believe that girls and women who like wearing make up or pretty clothes should stop doing it. I don't think that there's anything wrong with wanting to look beautiful. As long as it's just as okay not to. As long as we don't feel like we have to. As long as we realize that there's more. As long as we all know that what we look like on the outside is part of who we are, but it's a pretty darn small part. Fashion is fun, but the moment it becomes harmful, we should take a moment and ask ourselves why. Why am I putting on lipstick or heels, why do I want yet another pair of shoes, why do I want the people around me to think I look good? Is it because I think it's a pleasurable way of expressing myself, or is it because I feel like shit without it? Am I a fashion user or a fashion abuser?

There have been times when I've washed my face at night and not wanted to look at myself in the mirror. When I've longed for the morning when I get to put my cosmetic face back on. Whenever this has happened, I've stopped wearing make up completely for a few weeks. Because it's not okay. I don't want to feel like my made up self is the "real" me, and that my natural face is something that needs to be hidden. I won't let that happen. That makes my outside a too important part of the way I feel about myself, and I need to remember that I am not my looks. I am a daughter, a sister, a friend and a girlfriend, a writer, a person who loves cats and babies and books, who gets addicted to tv series and loves to watch the same movies over and over because I like to know how they end, who enjoy photography and sketching and playing the piano, who cares about people way too much but have a hard time trusting, who likes to wear clothes and shoes that I find pretty or interesting, who cries at least ten times a day and hates that I don't have a good singing voice, who has nightmares every night and doesn't like the taste of alcohol. And so on. And so on.

I am not my looks. Neither are you. As long as we all remember this, I'm pretty sure it's okay to wear lipstick now and then.