I can't wait.

Eighteen days have passed since my surgery. I've been wanting to update you all, so many times, but for some reason I have no idea what to write. This is a journey I find incredibly difficult to share, especially since I can't control who I share it with.

I used to think that as long as what I wrote didn't affect anyone around me in any negative way, I could let it all out. I considered nothing as "too personal".

Until now. This is too personal. I'm not comfortable writing about what my life is like, at least not now, while I'm right in the middle of it. Not because it's sad or tragic or anything of that sort. It's just... mine. My struggle, my thoughts, my feelings - and for once, it has to stay that way.

But I can tell you this: I've had a few complications, different infections that have kept me in the hospital a lot more than I would have wished, but now I'm back home and I'm doing allright. My pain is manageable, I'm getting used to giving myself injections (to prevent blood cloths) every night, when I don't throw up from infections or the medication I can eat quite normally. My incisions are healing, the swelling has started to go down - basically, everything is heading in the right direction, with a couple of small exceptions that I hope will sort themselves out all in due time.

In two months I'll find out if I've healed the way I'm supposed to - on the inside (physically, not emotionally... you know what I mean) - and then... Then I'll just have to find a way to live my life again. To be honest, I simply can't wait!