On and on and on and on.

This is a fun video and a great song by an awesome artist. Oh, and I'm in it. So watch it if you want!

Update: Alright, I'm really sorry - something clearly went wrong with the upload. It should be all taken care of now.

You Take My Breath Away.

Red coat with faux fur collar, Ida Sjöstedt. Mustard beret, Monki. Blue tights, H&M. White socks, Lindex. Black boots, Urban Outfitters. Loch blue 15-inch leather satchel, The Leather Satchel Co.

(Photos by me.)

The rays of the October sun beg me to wear color, color and more color. And I obey.

Can you believe this blog has reached a thousand followers? I for one can't. I thought it was quite unbelievable when I reached a hundred, but this... Wow. I'm amazed, honored and practically speachless. Which doesn't happen very often, as you might have noticed. Thank you. You take my breath away.

Hit me like a ray of sun.

I am simply blown away by how talented this guy is.

My friend Anna and I were watching the Swedish version of Idol on Friday, curled up on my couch with the katz, and when this performance came on... We hadn't really noticed Robin before, but now - If I had been 14 years old instead of 27 and 359 days, I would have written him at least twenty love letters by now. Just because of the way he sings "it's written all over your face". It sends shivers down my spine every time. Seriously.

To call for hands of above to lean on.

Navy leopard print collar coat, River Island/Asos. Black bowler hat, Monki. Leopard print tights, H&M. White patent boots, Doc Martens. Red leather satchel, The Leather Satchel Co.

(Photos by me.)

Bloggers always write "I have the best readers in the world!". I'm sure they think they mean it, and who can blame them for being wrong? They obviously haven't met you guys. Because you are the best readers in the world. If there was a blog reader Oscar you would win, hands down, kick everyone's ass! Thank you times a billion for your support. I have no idea what I've done to deserve all of your kind words, but I'm not going to question it: I'm just going to accept that it's a true blessing.


To prove to myself that I can still put on clothes and lipstick and even smile, well, I did just that. I even put my hair up in some kind of a faux bob. It came down after a while, since I only used two hairpins (laaaazyyy), but it looked sort of cute while it lasted. If I may say so myself.


Baryshnik kept me company while I took the photos, and he decided that the view was better from the tree. Unlike Biianka, who's great at climbing up but not so much down, he's an awesome tree climber - he leaps from branch to branch like an oversized squirrel. A positively adorable oversized squirrel, I might add. 


I always think that I have no fall- or winter coats whatsoever, but the truth is that I have so many it's actually ridiculous. It's just that they are all, without exceptions, black, red or navy. It's like I'm physically unable to buy a coat in any other color. I really want a camel one, one in a deep burgundy and one in a dark emerald green, and trust me, I've been looking for years - it's just that whever I find one I really like, they also have it in either navy, black or red, and then I end up getting one of those instead. Poor me. This is such a huge problem! No wonder I have to be in therapy every Tuesday!!! (Ha... ha... ha.)

I just now realized that my love for the colors red, black and navy is pretty visible in this outfit. I feel like especially red and blue items are always begging me to be matched with eachother. And who am I to say no? They do look fabulous together!

High on diesel and gasoline?

December, 2007.

I had a blog called "Beautiful Ones".

I also had a new (well, charity-shopped) faux fur hat and a crappy digital camera that could record video.

I was very, very bored.

That's when these things happen.

Your Biggest Fan.

This stupid little video was recorded in the fall of 2007. I lived in a small University town and had too much going on in school to show up to an audition for a commercial in Stockholm. They asked me if maybe instead I could videotape myself saying a few lines, and I could really use the money if I got the part, so I said "sure".

Turns out looking into a camera, walking back and forth and saying a couple of sentences was a lot harder than I expected... Especially while remembering things like, ehm, buttoning your skirt in advance.

But I did get the part in the commercial (though never saw the finished result, as it was only to air outside of Sweden) - and without this video above, basically a bunch of "bloopers" and more or less awkward moments I edited together for fun, my boyfriend and I wouldn't be together today. We probably wouldn't even have met. Life sure have a funny way of sneaking up on you when you least expect it! That's a long story, though who knows, I'll might share it some day. Let's just say I'm glad I wasn't able to go to that audition four years ago, and even more glad that I took the time to edit this silly nonsense video and put it up on my blog!

PS. If for some reason you're not yet bored and want to read more about yours truly, Kylie of Memoir Mode has interviewed me for her first Blogger Spotlight feature - here! DS.

To die by your side, well, the pleasure, the privilege is mine.

Black over knee socks, tights and navy hat, Asos.com. Black denim shorts and grey blazer, Forever 21. The Smiths "The Queen is Dead" t-shirt, I've had it forever and don't remember where I got it. White patent boots, Dr Martens. The wonderful strawberry red satchel, The Leather Satchel Co.

(Photos by me.)

Hey, look! Even depressed people wear clothes! (At least some of us do. And at least some of the time.)

I've taken photos quite a few times this past week, but when going through them in the computer, I've felt like they photo are too dark (eh, literally - lighting-wise - not figuratively speaking), or that my outfits aren't original enough, or that I look too tired. (Yep, even those disgusting I'm not tall/skinny/pretty/young/long-legged enough thoughts have been poking me in the eye with their long, venomous fingernails.)

But you know what? Telling you the truth about what my life is like right now made all the difference. When I saw these photos again tonight - taken when I came home from school late one night this week - I couldn't help laughing at all of those pathetic I'm not good enough thoughts. Since when is style blogging about perfection, anyway?

I bought this The Smiths t-shirt when I was 15 and madly in love with Morrissey, and wow, it's been through a lot these past thirteen years. I'm amazed it's still in one piece!

When I started searching for old photos of myself wearing it a long time ago, I immediately got lost along memory lane - when I snapped out of it half an hour later, I decided I'll have to reminisce some other time. I have a feeling I might need a whole day to let my mind wander the way it tells me it needs to. At the moment, Ronnie is waiting for me to watch The Town with him, and that might be just a tad bit more important than finding photos where I'm wearing an old t-shirt.

But oh wow, I have soooo many old pics to show you later this week!

A few sneak peaks...

What I'd prefer to do right now instead of cleaning the house:

Photo by Camilla Lindqvist

Why oh why did I suggest that my mom and I shoot her for a magazine here at my house?! I have no idea what I was thinking. The house has been such an extreme mess for as long as I can remember, and not exactly the perfect location for a photo shoot. She'll be here in an hour and I'm trying my best to make at least the lower floor a tiny bit presentable.

The only good thing: cleaning the house is a great excuse to listen to Eminem at earsplitting volume! Though I'd prefer to do it while laying on the couch stuffing my face with cupcakes. Actually, I'm pretty sure I've heard Marie Antoinette herself was a huge Eminem fan.

Back at the office!

Today I'm back at the office, back to work, back in business! I have such a wonderful feeling inside, I don't know, its like that "today is the first day of the rest of your life" cliché has taken over my brain, filling me up with silly optimism. That's rare for me, to say the least, so I'm doing my best to savor it!

I mean... I started the work day by making a to do-list, the way I always do, and I'm actually crossing things off of it. I'm Getting Things Done! Few things are more satisfying to me than that feeling.

Before going home tonight, I'm heading to the gym to work out. That's quite the big deal for me, and an important part in my Project this fall: the Project to Turn Myself into a Happier and Healthier Person.

What I need to do to make this happen:

* Stress less. I've quit many of my job assignments, to go back to school (I'm taking a course in Creative Writing at the university - the first real class is tomorrow!) and to focus of my own writing projects. Now it's up to me to find a balance between work, school and my own writing (and the blog, of course!) that doesn't make me walk around with that constant and unsettling feeling of almost not making it. I have a habit of taking on more and more things until I simply can't take it anymore and get very, very sick for a long time. That's my body's way of letting me know that I've gone too far and that it's refusing to cooperating with me if I'm not going to treat it right. But that's not going to happen this fall. I won't let it. Health has to come first.


* Don't skip meals (and no, brownies does NOT count as a meal). I have terrible problems eating by myself, which means that when I'm alone, I basically live off of cookies, icecream, sandwiches and candy (oh, and breakfast, I always eat breakfast). Well, this stupidity is going to stop. Right now. I'm aware that I will get sick if I don't provide my poor body with the right nutrition, and from now on, I'm going to eat breakfast, lunch and dinner every day, and these meals are going to consist of food. The dishes can be extremely simple - I'm not expecting to become a contestant in Top Chef - as long as they fall into the category "normal food". (Note: this has nothing to do with losing weight. The opposite, actually. I'm sure I would feel better in every way if I managed to gain a few pounds.)

* Become much more active. The horrible truth is that I basically never move. At all. I walk down to the car, I get in, I drive where I'm going, I get out. Then I get back in the car, drive home, walk the 10 seconds back to the house. I tell myself I need to go for walks, and I do. About twice a month. Now, my plan is to go to yoga once a week - I love yoga, and the studio is located in the same house as my office, to I have no excuse not to go! - go to the gym once a week, and try to take a walk once a week. More than that and I know I'll just feel like it's too much and go back to doing nothing. Baby steps, you know. Again: I'm not trying to lose weight. I'm tired of having constant back pains, of panting and wheezing like I've just run a marathon every time I have to climb a flight of stairs, of having no energy whatsoever. I'm still young and I shouldn't allow my body to become that of an old woman.

* Seizing the day. Yeah, yeah, the World Championship of Clichés is being held right here in this post, I know. But come on, give me a break. We could all benefit from trying harder to appreciate all the good things in our lives, to be grateful for what we've got. I will never, ever stop grieving what I've lost, but all I can do is whatever I can to keep it from ruining my life. Giving up and drowning is my sorrows is not what Fanny would have wanted, and it's definitely not what I want for myself. There's beauty all around and I will try my best to see it, even if it means I'll have to staple my lids to my brows to keep my eyes open.

In the last issue of Sofis mode, I have a column that was actually inspired by this post. I know, it sounds so conceited to say that I was "inspired" by one of my own blog posts - of course that's not what I mean. I just got the idea for the column when I was writing that specific post, that's all.

And for the blogger feature, I had the pleasure of interviewing the adorable Kani Cao of K is for Kani! She is such a sweet and clever girl, and her style is the perfect mix between sophisticated vintage and young, fresh, colorful and trendy. If you haven't yet checked out her blog, you most definitely should!

NOTE: THIS IS NOT ME SINGING! I LOVE SINGING, I JUST CAN'T DO IT. OR, OF COURSE I CAN. IT JUST SOUNDS LIKE CRAP. 

Let's end this post with a video of my dear, dear friend Zoey of MakeShiftModel singing a beautiful song with her mindblowingly angelic voice. Yeah, I am blown away by the fact that one person can be so full of amazing talents (and be incredibly stunning on top of it all), and my heart is simply overflowing with love and admiration for her! And just thinking that I would never have had the opportunity to get to know Zoey if I hadn't started this blog... "Meeting" all of you amazing people online these past three months are by far the best thing that's happened to me in a long, long time.

Now: lunch!