The Answers, Part 4: The people I love.

Part 4
Girlfriend, wife, mother?
Family, relationships, love, you know the drill.

How did you and Ronnie meet? How long have you been together, and what do you think/hope that the future will bring?
(Asked by Malin, Ana Martins, Jasmine and Bella Stephens)

Ronnie and I met through work, in December of 2007. There is a long and complicated - and yes, quite romantic - story behind it, and the only reason that I feel uncomfortable telling it is that we were both in other relationships at the time. Out of respect for the people that got hurt, I'll only say this: sometimes love can be just as painful as it is sensational, but when you know it's right, there really is nothing to do but to follow your heart.

My hopes for the future is that I will start to get better, feel better, so that I can eventually live the life I wish to live. Today, I feel like both Ronnie and I are biding our time, waiting for this storm inside of me to settle. I dream of getting married, of starting a family, of going back to work; I wish so badly that I will be able to be the person I truly am, underneath all this. That I'll have a life that is not shadowed by the dark clouds of depression. Those are my hopes for the future.

Photo from Flickr

I'm just curiuous - are you and Ronnie engaged or planning to have a wedding? 
(Asked by Agnès, Nastassja and Nina)                 

No, we're not. He's not too crazy about the idea of getting married, and although I completely respect that, it doesn't change the fact that I would absolutely love to be his wife. I'll try to explain why.

To me, being in a relationship is about constantly choosing eachother. It's about waking up every morning knowing that you have options, but still deciding that you're right where you want to be. And that's beautiful - but it's also exhausting.

By getting married, you're saying: I've chosen you so many times, and I'll keep doing it every day, but I don't need to. I know I could change my mind in some distant future, just like the sun could set one night to never rise again, just like I could wake up one morning and have turned into a giant Gregor Samsa-esque insect, but I really don't see that happening. The person I am will never stop choosing to be with the person you are, but today, tomorrow and every other day I will spend less energy on choosing you and more energy on loving you. Because I've already made my choice.

I want that. Sure, I want the white dress and the big party and the shared last name, but none of that matters compared to what it would mean to me to fall asleep every night knowing that we've decided to be a team, a unity, a family. I don't need to consider my options. I know they're there, believe me, I've tried them on and they didn't fit. Nothing in this world is perfect, I'm not expecting perfection, but they say that when you find true love you'll know. And I know.

So, no. We're not planning a wedding. We might never plan a wedding. But I'll never stop hoping that he'll start to look at marriage the way I do, and until then, I'll wake up every morning knowing my options and still decide I'm right where I want to be.

Photo from Flickr

I would like to know how you feel about having children some day? Is there a plan or do you feel it's way out there in the future? How old do you want to be when you have your first kid, and what would you want their names to be?
(Asked by Olivia, Kajsa and Nastassja)

There is nothing I want more in this life than to have a child. (Or four.) I wish I was already a mom, but as it turns out, it doesn't really happen just because you feel like you're ready. Actually, it's really icky - you have to engage in something called intercourse for it to work, and I'm sure not going to try that! Sorry, bad joke. No, honestly, I'm hoping it will happen soon. But as for right now, these dreams have to wait, since I'm going to have cervical surgery on Tuesday and there will be three months before I get to engage in any of those sweet baby-making activities. After that, we'll just keep our fingers crossed and hope that our babies think we seem like good parents and that they are ready to bless us with their presence.

We do have names that we really like, but I feel like writing them on the blog would be a little bit like jinxing it, you know?

Has it affected you in any way to have a famous mother? Does it still? 
(Asked by Sara)

Yes, absolutely. For you who don't know, my mother is a writer, and quite well-known in Sweden. That fact has definitely affected me in lots of ways - none of them good.

I guess it would have been a lot easier if I hadn't chosen to follow in her footsteps and strive to become a writer as well, but I really didn't have a choice. I started writing stories when I was four and it's the only thing I've ever wanted to do - I couldn't change that just because she became very successful during my teens. Even though I knew this, I tried to choose a different path - for a while, I studied to become a teacher - but there was no fooling myself in the end. Writing is who I am, and I had to go for it.

What happens when you have a famous mother is this:
1) People talk behind your back. The say that you're spoiled, stupid, fake, shallow, self-centered; that you think you're all that, that you've been handed everything on a silver platter.
2) Random people come up to you and say the rudest, meanest things, hoping for a reaction that they can laugh with their friends about afterwards. Oh, and it doesn't really matter what your reaction is, they'll just make something up that sounds better when they tell the story.
3) Once people find out who your mom is, they'll start treating you completely differently. Since they don't normally tell you who their parents are, neither do you. So when they do find out, because they always do, they'll not only forget everything they know about you and start seeing you as this whole other person - they'll also be furious that you didn't tell them right away, they'll feel cheated and humiliated and start hating you.
4) If you ever, ever mention your mom, people will think you're bragging. Even if they ask you about her.
5) Actually, it doesn't matter if you mention her. Everything you say will be considered bragging.
6) If your life hasn't been that great, you should never talk about this, because everyone will think you're lying. How could you have anything but a perfect life if your parent is occasionally on tv, right? Even if that parent got famous when you were already grown up? No, you're just looking to get attention. So keep quiet.
7) There will be countless forum threads and blog posts stating how worthless your mother is, you'll hear people on the subway saying how much they hate her, how ugly she is, how everything she does is a piece of crap. And no matter how much you love your mom, the only thing you can do is put your headphones on and walk away, because if you say something, you'll only make it worse.

What happens when you have a famous writer as a mother and you choose writing as your career as well is this:
1) Every word you write will be compared to the words she writes.
2) Whenever you get a job, everyone will think you got it because of who your mother is. It doesn't matter if the people who hired you doesn't know that you're her daughter. It doesn't matter if you're great at what you do. You'll still sit alone at lunch.
3) If you had good grades in school, it's because of your mom. If you have a university degree, it's because of your mom. Come to think of it, everything you do and everything you have is because of your mom. Oh, this is not true? You never asked her for help, wait, you specifically did not ask her for help because you wanted to be sure you deserve to be where you are? YEAH RIGHT.
4) The hateful, taunting forum threads and blog posts will now not only be about your mom, they will be about you. They will state as facts that the only reason you got to publish a single syllable anywhere is that you have your mother's last name. And no matter how much you know that this isn't true, you'll still lay awake at night wondering: but what if it is?

Yes, this all sounds extremely bitter, and I'm sure many of you will think I'm overreacting. And the truth is that I don't feel this way anymore. I've grown older, I've stepped aside, I've stopped caring so much about things like career and what people think or say about me. But this is what it's been like for me, and believe it or not, it has been hard. It is hard when people don't see you for who you are, when they won't give you a chance, when they refuse to get to know you. I've had people in school come up to me and say things like "I see what you're dealing with, and I know it's not the same, but I've had a similar experience. My whole life, I've been compared to my older sister who was the smartest kid anyone had ever met, and she was beautiful and popular and every time I'd get a new teacher, their faces would light up and they'd say 'oh, you're Sarah's sister!', and then I knew I'd disappoint them." And sure, it's not the same, and yet it is. You should get an opportunity to be yourself, to not be compared with others or judged because of things that have nothing to do with who you are as as person. It doesn't matter if your parents live in the fanciest house in town and you grew up with a lot of money, if everyone knows your dad is an alcoholic, if your brother is in jail or a Nobel prize winner. That's only one circumstance, one of the millions that make you who you are. Just like you shouldn't be judged by your ethnicity, sexual orientation or disability. If people won't see beyond that and get to know the real you, then that's their loss, and you deserve better. We all do.

It's just been really weird for me. My mom is my mom. She wasn't always famous, and I didn't even realize that she was until I was 21. When I was in high school and people started seeing her name in the paper, my friends already knew me, and they might make a friendly joke about it. That's all. After graduation I left Sweden for a few years, and when I came back, suddenly people had formed an opinion of me without even meeting me. My mom didn't change because she started to write - and sell - books, and I certainly didn't change. The only thing that changed was other peoples perception of me. And that affected me. It made me not trust people, it made me scared, confused, somewhat paranoid.

But - all that said, I could never have asked for a better mother. My mom is the most loving, caring, ambitious, sweet, funny, intelligent, brave, passionate, hard-working, talented person I have ever met, and I'm not just saying that. She truly is. And that has shaped me in so many more ways than her fame ever could. I have her to thank for everything good in my life, for making me believe in myself, for making me realize that I deserve to be loved. She raised me to speak my mind, to stand up to injustices, to go my own way and never conform or pretend to be someone I'm not.

Though a part of me does wish she'd never become famous, I know that it was necessary for her to reach out to as many people as possible, and her words and thoughts are way too important not to be read by the world. She will always be my biggest inspiration and I am so proud to be her daughter.

Where is your boyfriend from? 
(Asked by Bella Stephens)

Ronnie was born and raised in a small Swedish town called Falköping. He moved to Stockholm when he was 18, but his family still lives there, and he's still great friends with the guys he grew up with. I can sometimes get a little bit envious of the fact that he has a home town, where he can walk down the street and stop and talk to every other person ("that's my friend David's dad, she worked in the school cafeteria, he was my soccer coach when I was eight, I had the biggest crush on her all through my teens"). When I go into Stockholm, I feel nothing. I don't think of myself as having a home town at all, I have nowhere to go back to. This is not about self-pity, I just think it seems nice. You know, to have left a place nine years ago and still think of it as "home".

Photo from Flickr

Have you ever been pursued by a girl to have a relationship? Weird question, I know, but... One of my very good friends wants to have a relationship with me, but I like her as a friend, not romantically, and it's frustrating... 
(Asked by Anonymous)

I don't think any of my friends have fallen in love with me - not that I know of, anyway - but I sure have fallen in love with a friend. Plenty of times, actually. If you're certain that you're not interested in anything but friendship, that's not your fault, just as her feelings for you isn't her fault. All you can do is tell her that you adore her as a friend, but that you don't feel the way she does. It doesn't matter if it's because you're not interested in girls or if you're simply not romantically interested in this particular girl; the outcome is still the same: you can't be together if only one out of two wants that kind of relationship. If you're lucky, your friendship can still survive, though it might need some time to repair itself.

Unrequited love is always frustrating, painful and terrifying - especially if the person you have feelings for is your friend, since you then risk losing someone you care deeply about on so many levels. You tell me that she is a good friend to you, and I truly hope that you two can work this out and stay friends, because good friends are hard to come by. If she has not been in a relationship with another girl before, I'm sure this is a very difficult time for her, and it does put you, too, in a situation that isn't easy to deal with. Just let her know how you feel. Let her know that she can talk to you, that you're here for her as a friend, but that you understand if she needs some time apart to figure things out. I wish you both the best of luck.

The Answers, Part 3: Blogging.

Turns out answering your questions takes a lot more time than I expected - so I suppose it's a good thing it's a lot of fun!

Part 3
My blog, your blog, everybody's blogs!

Writing this post, I realized that the subject of blogging is a little bit hard to illustrate with photos. In the end, I decided to use the oldest outfit photos I could find, back from when I first started blogging about fashion and my style in 2006 and then the following two years. (Before that, I had a blog that only focused on indie music - no outfit posts there.) Hopefully you'll find that my outfit photography has gone through some slight improvements since then!

Can you give us some good tips for starting a blog?
(Asked by Valiera Meli and Chippie)

This is going to be a loooong answer... bear with me!

I believe the most important part is to decide what kind of blog you want, and what you wish to accomplish with it. Do you want to write about your everyday life, for your friends, family and relatives to read? Do you want a photography/art/writing/design blog to showcase your work to future employers, a personal style blog where you post looks once in a while - or do you hope to get billions of readers and make your blog your full-time job? (If you do get billions of readers, wow, I'll be seriously impressed!)

As boring as it may sound, it's necessary to be realistic: If you're a very busy person who has time to blog once or twice a week, it might be hard to reach a large audience. Basically, you will get results based on the kind of work and effort you're willing to put into it.

It always makes me sad to get e-mail and comments from bloggers who ask how I got "so many readers in so little time" (relatively speaking), telling me how they've been blogging for months or years and still haven't gained the kind of recognition they were hoping for. It's always hard to reply to these letters, because I really don't want to hurt anyone's feelings - but once again, realistic is the key word here. When I click onto these blogs, more often than not I find the same things: a messy layout, very few photos of the blogger herself or photos in poor quality, and posts that are either written in a language I don't understand or, if in English, extremely short: "this is what I wore today, I went out with my friends and had fun".

Note: None of this is wrong! Absolutely not. Every blog is as unique as the person who writes it and I love the fact that there are such an enormous variety of blogs out there. But, when it comes to personal style blogs - because there are so many for potential readers to choose from - I would say that there are four criterias that truly matter if you want a large, devoted group of readers:


* High quality outfit photos.
Let's be frank: the outfit photos are the foundation of a personal style blog. With better photos, you will get more readers. It's that simple. I often see bloggers making excuses for the poor quality: "sorry, I don't have a good camera/I don't have a place to take my photos, and there is noone I can ask to take them for me, so I have to shoot my outfits with my cellphone camera in the mirror". And this is all perfectly fine - gosh, all bloggers can't be expected to own a fancy camera and a tripod or have a photographer friend/parent/partner around all the time! - but unfortunately, that means that not as many people are going to follow their blogs. I will be honest: all the blogs I really like have immensely professional looking photographs.

When I first wanted to start sharing my style on my blog, back in 2006, I lived in a tiny one room apartment and had no idea how to use the Canon EOS 350 D I borrowed from a guy who worked at the university I went to. (It belonged to the school, he was in charge of it, and I told him I was doing a photo project for school. Liar liar pants on fire, I know - it was for a good cause, though! I truly wanted to learn about photography!) Except for inside the apartment or on the balcony, I had two options when it came to outfit photo locations: the shared storage area in the attic and the shared storage area in the basement. As I got bolder, I even started taking self-timer photos in the stairwell and elevator, making my neighbours think there was something seriously wrong with me...

In time, I saved up to buy my own camera, and I might not have been the most talented photography enthusiast - though I sure was persistent. And practice may not have made perfect yet, but five years later, I have far from given up on learning!

Anyway, back to the point: noone is a great photographer when they start out, and still: if you wish to have a successful style blog featuring your own outfits, you have to go for it. Put a decent camera as the only item on your wish list this Christmas (an early model of the Canon EOS series is not too expensive if you buy it used) and practice, practice, practice! Read every tutorial you can find, learn about lighting, framing and editing, try to copy the photos of your favorite bloggers until you find your own individual style.

Or - don't. Don't do any of this. But please don't be disappointed if not too many people start following your style blog.

* A clean, user-friendly layout.
If you think graphic design is the most boring thing ever and you can't seem to figure out how to use even the simplest template design program (like the one here on blogger) - just choose a basic, ready-made template and stick with it. Having a blog with an individual look is much less important than having a blog that's easy to navigate, where everything is where it should be, with a basic font on a light background. I have come across an insane amount of blogs where a purple or yellow comic sans is used on a pretty, blue flower print background and... well, put nicely: it makes the blog posts a bit hard to read (and triggers my migraines). Flowers and hearts and bunnies are cute but if you want people to come back to your blog, make sure the post background is as clean as possible.


* Continuity.
The best way to make people take the time to check your blog is if you take the time to update it. Often. How often? As often as you can without starting to feel like it's an obligation and not something you do because it's a fun, rewarding hobby. Many of my favorite blogs update once a day - that means they've quickly become a part of my daily internet routine, succeeding to turn me into a much more loyal follower than if they would have updated, say, once a week. Because of this, I try to post something every day - but not if I'm busy with other things. As long as I don't get money out of this blog, I have to treat it as a hobby, and post only when I have free time. When I don't blog every day, I obviously can't be surprised when I have a lot fewer visitors the days when I'm not active - as well as noone else should be if they don't blog daily.

* Engaging writing with a personal voice.
This doesn't mean that you can't be an amazing blogger if you're not a writer. But your readers want to get to know you. Your blog is unique because you are unique, and you need to show your readers who you are if you want a chance to stand out from every other blogger out there.

Of course you don't have to take a leaf out of my book and tell your readers about everything from bullying to depression - but how about sharing details from your everyday life? To me, when I read through a new blog, it's all about the specifics. Those bits of information that makes you you.

Example 1: "Today I woke up, had breakfast, went to school and then out with some friends. School was a disaster but my friends and I had a great time!"

Sorry, love, but this could have been written by anyone. Where are you in all of this?

Let's try it again - Example 2: "My alarm went off at 6:30 this morning, I snoozed six times and nearly missed the bus to school. Honestly, I almost wish I had - turned out we had a pop quiz in my French class first period, and I was still so tired I could hardly even spell my own name! Hopefully I did okay anyway (I'm praying all those times I've watched Amélie have paid off!), but gosh, I should start going to bed earlier. It just seems like all the best tv shows come on when most people have been asleep for hours..."

So, we're only on the first part of your day, and I still feel like I know you sooo much better.

And, while we're on writing, a few words about languages: If you're okay at writing in English, that's obviously a great way to reach way more readers than if you write in a language not very many people speak. But if you feel like what you could express in English is a lot closer to Example 1 than Example 2 above, and you don't have a strong desire to improve your skills, I suggest you stick to your mother tounge and just let people from other countries use google translate. The important thing is that you feel free and confident to write about whatever you wish!

To summarize: If you have a blog with a clean layout that is updated consistently, with outfit photos you put some effort into and writing that shows who you are and what makes you special, people will love it. Be realistic in your expectations: if you're not willing to put a lot of time or effort into your blog, don't be sad when you don't get that many readers. Blog because you enjoy it and there's no doubt that it will pay off!

Two more things: when you start your blog, of course you want people to discover it as soon as possible. If your blog is about your style, being an active user on Chictopia and Lookbook is a splendid way of letting people know you exist, as well as commenting on other people's blogs.
But: 1) A good idea is to make sure your blog already has some content when you start telling others about it, or chances are they might not come back.
2) Everyone knows commenting on blogs could be a way to get more readers, but your comments should be personal and not feel like spam if this is going to work at all. Show that you're interested in what the blogger has written in his or her post, or if you only comment an outfit, at least put some thought into it. I can tell you that a "Cool! Visit me on http://www.myblog.blogspot.com, follow me and I'll follow you back!" is not the best way way to make your blog successful. Really. It's not. Instead, follow the blogs you really like, tell the blogger why you like it, show genuine interest and then, yes, by all means - tell the blogger that you'd love it if she or he would like to check out your blog. I check out the blogs of everyone who comments here, but I want to do it because I'm interested, not because I'm told to. At least to me, the blogger community is about expressing yourself, making friends, being inspired by others and create meaningful relationships, not collecting followers just for the sake of it.

I hope this response wasn't too negative! Blogging should be fun, write about what you love, be yourself and don't worry if it takes a little bit of time for people to find you - they will!

If you have a large Swedish audience, do you think it would be wise to write in two languages or are you relying on the readers' English skills?
(Asked by Piia)

Actually, Swedish people are generally very good at both reading and speaking English - probably a combination of learning the language in school from an early age and the fact that we don't dub movies or tv-shows. Because of that, I don't think it's a problem. Writing each post in two languages would take me forever, so that is definitely not an option. I know some people would prefer it if I wrote in Swedish, but I love the fact that I am now able to communicate with people from all over the world!

How do you have the guts to spill your guts with us? I adore that you're so honest! 
(Asked by Emmakisstina) 

Thank you! Honestly, I don't even think about it. I've written online journals ever since the birth of internet communities (they all had a "diary" function), so for the past... 14 years, or so. I've always been kind of a lonely person, and writing about myself and my life on the internet has been my way of expressing myself, a sort of therapy, one might even say; as well as a way of making friends. And eventually, writing about my feelings, thoughts, opinions and experiences turned into my profession, so it definitely hasn't been for nothing! (As a columnist, not as a blogger, I might add.)

And the "honesty" part... I just don't see any point in not sharing my thoughts with other people. I can't see that I would feel better in any way by keeping it all inside, probably the opposite. I don't write anything that I wouldn't want my family, neighbours, employers or anyone else to read - the way I think and feel about things are no secrets.

Are you never afraid of revealing to much about yourself online? 
(Asked by Shirins)

Not at all. After all this time, it comes extremely naturally to me what to share and what not to. I don't mind one bit that complete strangers know intimate details about my life - if we all shared more about ourselves with others, I think the empathy in the world would be a lot more extensive! I could never have a blog where I pretended like everything was peachy all the time, then the blog would mean nothing to me and I wouldn't have any chance at all of reaching out to people who might be or have been in similar situations.

Do you have a "policy" about how much you include friends and family in your posts? 
(Asked by Sara)

Sure, a very simple one: I would never, ever, ever write sensitive things on the blog about anyone else. (Unless they want me to or approve it, of course.) If I want to write something about myself that involves another person, I'll either check if it's okay or just try to work around it. This is my blog and noone should have to feel like they're being exploited in any way.

Do you ever feel that your boyfriend isn't supportive or understanding enough with the whole blogging thing. I don't know why, but I sometimes have had that feeling... 
(Asked by Nina)

My boyfriend is absolutely supportive in the sense that he thinks it's great that I have a hobby I'm passionate about. When we were in New York, he did help out with the outfit photos from time to time (since I wasn't able to take my own like I'm used to), but I do think I believes it's a bit silly. He sometimes says that he can't understand why people would want to look at photos of the same person over and over again, and he's got zero interest in fashion, so I wouldn't say that he's my most devoted follower! No, but actually, I think he's a little bit too supportive - sometimes I think "oh, if only you knew how much time and energy I spend on this blog, maybe you wouldn't think it's such a good idea after all", haha!

...


You know what? This was just the first part of the blogging questions - but I felt the post would be ridiculously long if I didn't cut it in half. I mean, it already is. Imagine it being twice as massive!

(I also wrote about blogging in the post "About becoming a braver, more confident person - through fashion blogging.")

Now I'm off to have dinner with friends - my bus leaves in twenty minutes and I haven't even showered yet. Why do I always do this? Told you this blog takes up too much of my time! Luckily, you're all completely worth it.

The Answers, Part 2: Going Places.

Let's continue with the answers from the Q&A-session! (Part 1 can be found here.)

Barbados bikini girl!

Part 2
To travel or not to travel

What is your favourite city/country in the world (outside of Sweden)?
(Asked by rehane)

I absolutely adore Berlin, especially Kreuzberg where Ronnie and I lived for a while (we still have an apartment there, that we share with a group of other writers). Other cities that have given me that peculiar feeling of belonging are Rome and New York, though I think I've been to those places for too short of a time to truly know what it would be like to live there. Haha, I know that's not what you asked, but I just love to get a sense of home when I visit a city!


I wanted to ask which countries, cities or places you want to visit the most? And would you maybe someday want to visit Lithuania? :)
(Asked by Ieva Jankauskaitė)

In Shanghai, I lived for a couple of months with a really sweet and beautiful girl who came from a small village outside of Vilnius. She introduced me to a group of lovely people from Lithuania and Latvia, and I would absolutely love to go there one day!

To be completely honest, though, I'm not the biggest fan of traveling. I know it sounds terrible, and of course I adore visiting new places and learning about different cultures and lifestyles, but I get extremely stressed out from the whole experience of, well, going somewhere. And when I get stressed, my body reacts instantly - which means that every single time I go anywhere, I get sick. Trust me - these last couple of years, I've been really sick (almost unable to get out of bed) in Paris, Berlin, Thailand, Los Angeles, Seattle, New York, Barcelona, Barbados and probably some more places that I was too sick to even remember visiting (haha). Gosh, I even get sick while travling to other places in Sweden.

But it's a lot worse the farther I go: I'm scared to death of flying, I get awful jetlag complications even when the time difference is only a few hours, and I can't stop thinking about all the things that could go wrong at home ("what if someone breaks into our house? What if we have a water leak again and the whole house is ruined when we come back? What if there's a fire? Maybe I forgot to pay one of our bills, or the cats get sick and the people who are watching them don't take them to the vet and then die! What am I doing here?!").

In other words, I do travel a lot and I love parts of it, but it's also somewhat wasted on me. Luckily I've learned how to appreciate cities even when sick, but still... I'm so tired of people asking me "How was *insert any cool travel destination here*?!", and having to answer "it was great, though, well, I was mostly in bed (and not for any of the fun reasons)".

One happy Annika in Rome.

Sorry about the rant, I'll get back to the question now! I would really, really love to go to Italy again. Ronnie and I visited Rome our first summer together, and it was one of my most amazing experiences ever - I wasn't even sick! (No rules without exceptions, you know.) So I'm very excited to see more parts of the country. Venice would be incredible, and Ronnie and I are thinking of going to either Sicily or Sardinia early next year to celebrate our four years together.

Cousin weirdness in Seattle.

What's your favourite travel destination? 
Asked by Bella Stephens)

I was in Seattle for only a couple of days back in April, and I want to go back there so bad! My dear cousins and my aunt live in the area, and it would be wonderful to get to spend more time with them. I didn't have time to see nearly as much of the city as I would have liked to, obviously (and yes, I was terribly sick while I was there), but from what I saw it's such an incredible place. It's sort of like a mix between Stockholm and New York, and so full of cultural happenings and awesome places to eat!

(Oh, and I thought New York was quite spectacular.)

What do you like about Berlin? Or, what do you not like about Berlin or Germans?
(Asked by Nastassja)

Haha, there's nothing I don't like about Berlin! And I'm sure there are idiots in Germany just like in every other country on this planet, but luckily I haven't met many of them.


Berlin is one of my favorite cities in the world, for sure. We mostly hang out in Kreuzberg - Ronnie and I used to live on Wrangelstrasse, close to Schlesisches Tor, and now we share an apartment with some friends on Eisenbahnstrasse, near Lausitzer Platz/Görlitzer Park. Of course I've been to lots of different areas, but I don't feel like any of them can live up to Kreuzberg! My second favorite part is Prenzlauer Berg.

What I love about Kreuzberg is that it's so cheap to eat and drink, I love all the cafés, bars and restaurants, and most of all the friendly and laid-back atmosphere. I never feel better about the way I look than when I'm there - not because people don't look good, gosh no, but because I don't feel like you're judged on your appearance nearly as much as I'm used to. People seem so comfortable with themselves, there are cute dogs everywhere and something fun is always happening on every block - an art exhibition, a band playing, a movie showing, whatever.




I'm from Estonia and I'm interested in knowing what neighboring countries you've visited?
(Asked by Liisi)

Well, I've been to Tallinn a few times, and I think it's a really interesting city! And of course I've been to Finland and Denmark, but Estonia is the only Eastern European country I've visited. I'd like to change that in the future. (I was in Romania and Bulgaria with my mom when I was a kid, but that was, like, twenty-three years ago... so I don't remember that much.)



Which countries have you been to and where would you really, really like to go?
(Asked by Piia)

I travelled a lot with my mom when I was little, so I can honestly say that I don't know what countries I've been to (again, my memory from back than isn't the most accurate!). To name a few: Finland, Denmark, Estonia, Norway, England, Ireland, Italy, Spain, Turkey, Czech Republic, USA, Mexico, Barbados, Thailand, China, France, Romania, Bulgaria, Germany and Morocco.

I would really love to go to San Francisco! I have a feeling I would fall head over heels in love with that city.

The Answers, Part 1: Height, Houses and Pretty, Pretty Cats.

Oh wow - there sure are a few things you guys want to know! Thank you so much for taking an interest in me and the blog, it's incredibly flattering and I'll do my best to answer your questions over the following week. Let's start right away!

Part 1
Where I am and where I've been (and a little bit about those cats I'm so crazy about).


How old are you?
(Asked by Sewang)

If you multiply 396 with 4, then subtract the square root of... sorry, just kidding. I'll be 28 in October. You think that's old? Well, you'll get there one day, too. If you're lucky. And just so you know, being (almost) 28 is about a trillion times better than being 13, 15, 18, 22 or any other age I've tried. And rumour has it that it actually keeps getting better!

How tall are you?
(Asked by Bordeaux, Chippie, Laurente, Wiz and an anonymous reader)

I'm 176 cm/5'9. Someone asked how that works with my litas and other high heels, and the answer is that it works absolutely fabulously! :) When I was younger, I always wished to be taller - probably because I was considered "short" compared to other models - and though I'm perfectly happy with my height today, I still don't mind one bit that wearing heels makes me quite easy to spot in a crowd.

Where are you from?
(Asked by Stine A)

I was born way up in the north of Sweden, but grew up in Stockholm. I've also lived in London, Shanghai and Berlin, and studied for three years in Norrköping.

Where do you live?
(Asked by Rebecka Pettersson)

Since a year and a half back, I live a little more than hour by car south-west of Stockholm, in the outskirts of a tiny countryside village in Södermanland. Somewhere between Gnesta and Flen.

I live in the countryside outside of Stockholm and have done so for about a year. I find myself not missing the city (except sometimes I get lonely and I just want to dance in a crowded place all night). Here's the question: do you get lonely out there?
(Asked by naomii)

I do get lonely out here. But I know I'd get even more lonely in the city. For me, loneliness is more of a state of mind and has less to do with the number of people I'm surrounded with, and - gosh, I know how this sounds - hanging out with my cats every day is the one thing keeping me (somewhat) sane. Crazy cat lady, who, me?

Plus, when I'm living out here, I can always pretend that if I only lived in Stockholm, I wouldn't be lonely at all - when in reality I feel a lot more isolated when I have the possibility of seeing friends. Because 1) I very rarely have the energy to do things, which means that I have to say no to my friends' suggestions, and 2) being around people makes it only too obvious that I don't have anyone that I'm truly close with. Noone who really knows me. Except maybe for Ronnie, and I have the luxury of spending basically every day and every night with him, wherever I live!

Though sometimes I, too, want to dance the night away on a crowded dance floor. Then we go into Stockholm and do just that! We can still do everything we want to do, it just takes a little more time to get there.

Do you think you would like to stay in the countryside for the rest of your life, or do you want to move to a city at some point? What, in your opinion, are the pros and cons with countryside vs. city?
(Asked by somlig)

I think there's a definite possibility that I'll live in cities, bigger or smaller, for periods of time - but I think that in the long run, I belong out here where it's quiet and peaceful and at night you can see every star in the sky. If I'm fortunate enough to have kids one day, I would love to raise them here. Because even though I know they'll spend their teenage years just longing to get away, they will always have a place to call "home". I can feel a little bit sad about not having somewhere to come home to. Sure, I grew up in Stockholm, but it's not like I go to Kungsholmen (the part of town where I lived) and recognize people on the streets. I don't have friends or family left there, it's just a part of the city where I know my way around better than in other areas. I always wished to live out in the countryside in a big house and have horses - well, our house isn't big and we have cats instead of horses, and still it's pretty close to perfection in my eyes.

Pros and cons, countryside v/s city: Living in a big city, there's so much more room for spontaneity. You can say "hey, I think I want to go see a movie/eat at this new restaurant I heard about/go have a cup of coffee with a friend", and twenty minutes later, you can do just that. I do miss the movie theaters, I do miss the restaurants and cafés and bars and how easy it is to meet up with a friend. But it just doesn't make up for the fact that I'm always stressed out by the crowded streets, buses and subway trains, by all the people rushing passed me, by the fast pace of city life.

Living out here, I adore the peace and quiet, the stunning beauty of nature, and actually, the fact that I can't just go have a cup of coffee with a friend at any given moment. It's good for me to know that when I have a day all to myself, it won't get disrupted by impromptu get-togethers - when I lived in Stockholm, I never got anything done, because I jumped at every chance not to work.

I love the open spaces, I love living in a house that's huge compared to the apartments I've lived in these past ten years, I love having a real kitchen and a washing machine and a garden. But most of all, I love having two cats who can play outside all day long, and then fall asleep in my lap in front of the tv. I love sleeping all curled up because they refuse to spend their nights anywhere but by my feet.

How come you live in this house? Did you buy it or inherit?

(Asked by Agnès)

We bought our house exactly two years ago, and moved in five months later (it needed a bit of a facelift, and some internal surgery as well), on March 1st 2010. Ronnie and I were tired of living in tiny sublet apartments and knew there was no way we could ever afford a bigger place in Stockholm - and since none of us needed to work from a specific location, we figured we should just move to a smaller town where apartments are a lot cheaper.

See more photos of the piano room here!

We had no intentions whatsoever of buying a house, especially not in the middle of nowhere, but what can I say... My mom kept sending me links to houses for sale, and when I clicked on one that showed photos of an old yellow house with a view of horses eating grass by a lake, I realized this was where we were supposed to live. We didn't have a car - or driver's licenses for that matter - so we took the train and then the bus, walked along the narrow, winding road leading up to the house, and it just felt right. Well, we hated to look of the house on the inside, but we realized how much potential it had, and we knew we had to give it a shot.

See more photos of our hallway here!

We bought the house for less money than Ronnie got when he sold his one room apartment in Stockholm, and I can't speak for him, but I have never, ever regretted or doubted our decision!

How old are your cats? Are they biological siblings?
(Asked by burbuja677) 

Yes, Biianka and Baryshnik are biological siblings from the same litter. They were born on May 8th 2010, so they're one year and four months old. Bii looks just like their mom, and Baz is a splitting image of their dad!

I've been dying to know what type of cats your two are - they are adorable and I love cats, at the moment we're looking for another one.
(Asked by rach)

Thank you! I couldn't agree more, my cats are adorable. :) They're Siberian cats (the reason for their Russian names), who are by some considered more suited for people with cat allergy than other breeds. In our experience, it's true - my boyfriend Ronnie is a bit allergic to cats, and he's never had a single problem with Bii and Baz (and they sleep in our bed every night). My mom, on the other hand, is extremely allergic - and she can't be around them for too long, though much longer than with other cats.

Snow-Bii!

Snow-Baz!

Are you going to play outside with your cats in the winter and snow? 

Hahaha, yes, of course I am! They get the funniest winter coats, they look more like fuzzy balls than actual cats.

What are the little things that make you smile on a daily basis?
(Asked by rehane)

This might not be a cat question, but the answer is a cat answer. Being around Bii and Baz is such a gift, seriously, it's a true blessing. I've always wanted a cat and was afraid my expectations would be set too high, impossible to live up to, but boy, was I wrong! The truth is that I could never, ever have imagined how much pleasure these two would give me, how much joy they would bring to my life. They're as much a part of this family as Ronnie or myself, and no matter how dark or unbearable things might seem at times, these two have never yet failed to comfort me and cheer me up. Their loveliness and cuteness and fuzzy paws might not be enough to keep me off anti-depressants in the future, but they put a smile on my face a thousand times a day, and I'm more grateful for this than they'll ever know. I mean, of course they'll never know. They're cats. As adorable as they may be, they are in possession of a very limited understanding of human psychology.

(Just kidding. They're super smart and they know everything. Actually.)

Oh, and speaking of cats and things that make me smile (or, in this case, laugh out loud), this is by far the best blog in the entire world:

Ask me, ask me, ask me!

Tomorrow, this blog will have been around for four months. (I, on the other hand, have been around for a lot longer than that. For better and for worse. Mostly better.)

Maybe this is as good a time as any to have According to Annika's first Q&A session? You know what - I think it might be!

The "rules" are simple: ask me anything. If your question for some reason happens to be rude or inappropriate, I won't answer it. If it isn't, I will.

And if noone wants to know anything and this post doesn't get a single comment, I'll just pretend there was something wrong with blogspot and we'll forget all about it, okay?

PS. I'd really appreciate it if you'd ask your questions in English! DS.

PS2. Hmmm... I have the feeling I might get asked "why on Earth did you start blogging in English!?" once or twice or ten times. Bring it on! DS2.