A letter to that bearded guy up North.

All items and photos: Asos.com

Dear Santa,

Maybe it's a little bit early to write you in June. If so, I'm sorry - I'm not entirely sure how this works. But I'm guessing you have to prepare for Christmas all year long, with all the kids expecting presents it's not like you can wait until the last minute to start reading through wish lists, right?

And also, the thing is, I'm pretty sure these wonderful clothes (see above) won't be in stock much longer, so it would be awesome if you could pick them up for me now. I don't even mind getting them for Christmas and then having to wait until next summer to wear them, you see, I'm not really into trends. I'm sure you know what I mean - you've worn that red outfit for ages and ages now! Don't get me wrong, I totally support that. If it ain't broke, why fix it and so on.

We get eachother, you and I, I'm quite certain we would be friends if we got to meet under more casual circumstances. You're always in such a rush around Christmas, which by the way I completely understand, too. I'm a freelance journalist so I work from home against deadlines all the time, and just like you (guessing here) I spend way too much time watching Gossip Girl, How I Met Your Mother and Glee, because it just doesn't feel like I have to work when I'm just hanging out at home. So I know how hectic it can be when your deadline approaches. No judgement. None!

Oh, and you don't even have to leave the North Pole to get these clothes for me - you can just go to www.asos.com and they will be delivered to your doorstep or your local post office. I would do it myself, they're really not expensive at all, if I wasn't so insanely short on cash right now. I only allowed myself to buy a couple of pairs of new socks, which I really had to, because I suspect that my washing machine has a thing for socks - I always put in a pair and only one comes back out. I don't know if washing machine psychology is in your area of expertise, but if it is, I'd really love it if you could have a word with it.

Umm, yeah, that's all for now. Say hi to Mrs Santa and all the elves for me, and I'll see you in six months!

PS. I've sort of got a crush on that blonde girl in the photos, so if you could just slip me a note with her name and a link to her Facebook page while you're at it, I'd really appreciate that. DS.